For introverts, sometimes their curiosity can become their greatest curse.
Learning is good, but not always. Sometimes it can take your focus off what you want to do and distract you into needless things.
With an introverted mind, that’s exactly what happened to me. And boy, it drove me nuts.
I wanted to know everything about everything. I was always hungry for more knowledge. I chased everything that provided even a little novelty. That could make me a little smarter. That could feed my ego.
So I could feel superior. Well read. Smart. Intelligent.
So I read, learned, and absorbed everything I could get my hands on. Magazines, newspapers, books, essays, encyclopaedias, religious texts, and all the deepest, darkest rabbit holes.
But nothing could satisfy me.
Every time I read or learned something new, I branched off to something else, and then something else again. It was a never ending chain. I just couldn't stop. I felt like an addict chasing another hit.
And wait, this was just the tip of the iceberg.
The bigger problem was that I could never stay on my path. I could never finish what I was doing. I kept jumping from one thing to another.
Whenever I read something interesting by an "expert", I left what I had figured out for myself and started following the new thing, the latest fad, or the new guru in town.
I used to work on something very hard for a few weeks, and then something new caught my attention, and before I knew it, I was off in a totally different direction.
And this happened not just once or twice. It happened almost every few months. It became a pattern. And this pattern was driving me absolutely crazy.
I had no fixedness. No inner-rootedness. Nothing could keep me stable in my head. That could keep me focused on one thing and help me finish it.
But one day, everything changed.
The Old professor and the book
I shared this problem with my father. He suggested that I meet one of his old college professors.
The professor was 94 years old. When I reached his place, he asked me to come with him to his study.
Books were scattered on the table, racks full of books filled up the whole room.
We sat down, and I shared everything with him. He listened very patiently. And when I had poured my heart out, he paused.
Then he got up, went to one of the book racks, and pulled out a book.
"This may help." he said, handing me the book.
Then he was silent again.
I came back home, started reading the book. By the end of just Chapter 2, I realised the professor was a very wise man. He knew exactly what I needed.
The book was the sacred book of Hindus, ‘The Bhagavad Gita’, and it was verse 52 from Chapter 2 that changed everything for me.
yadā te moha-kalilaṁ buddhir vyatitariṣhyati
tadā gantāsi nirvedaṁ śhrotavyasya śhrutasya cha
- Gita 2.52
Which translates from Sanskrit to English as:
When your intellect transcends this maze of delusion, then you will attain indifference between that which has already been heard and that which is yet to be heard.
That was it. It was the end of my chase.
That day, I understood that what I chase has no end.
The Secret of how to never lose focus
The new attracts the mind.
Have you ever wondered why every year when an iPhone is launched, they excessively use the word "new" in their launch events and sales pages.
According to psychology "New" is one of the most influential words used to catch customers' attention. And marketers at Apple know that very well.
The desire to check what’s new on your phone, read the new book, scroll your new Instagram feed, watch new productivity videos is the same tendency inside you.
It's all about: what’s new out there.
What Lord Krishna means by the word ‘maze of delusion’ is this constant feeling of FOMO.
You don’t "need" more information. You just crave the new. You feel you’ll be left behind if you don’t read more, learn more, watch more, and scroll more.
But subconsciously, it’s doing way more damage than you can perceive.
When you’re always chasing new things, your subconscious makes you believe that what you already know and who you already are is not good enough.
And when you believe that you’re not good enough, you start chasing something ‘new’ that could make you good enough.
And there are unlimited things to chase out there. And that’s exactly where I was stuck, just like you are.
When you transcend your ‘desire’ to be something more than who you already are, that’s when you’ll attain indifference between things you already know and things that are out there still unexplored.
Today your intellect knows something, tomorrow a new scientific study will change it. And this will keep going over and over again.
How long can you keep up?
There’s an ocean of information out there, how much can you absorb?
This desire of your intellect to know more can never be satisfied. Because it’s always in a state of flux. It keeps on changing. It’s not permanent.
It’s a maze of delusion..
What’s permanent is your SELF. The unchanging, all pervading self.
That’s why Socates said "Know Thyself".
He didn’t say to know more or read all the books in the library. He simply asked you to know your own self.
Now, it doesn’t mean that you should stop reading altogether and sit in a cave to realise yourself. Reading is good for keeping the brain sharp. But be very mindful about what you read.
Try to be satisfied with less and with what matters. Don’t fill your mind with garbage.
Our goal here is not to eliminate learning, our goal is to get ourselves detached from this desire for the new. The desire that forces you to check your phone every few minutes.
Our goal is to understand that there is no other place, pleasure, thing, person, experience, that can be more blissful, whole, and peaceful than the state you’re currently in.
This very moment. The now. The place of SELF.
When you establish yourself in the present moment and are fully satisfied with just the "SELF’, you will never lose focus.
Because there’s nothing more interesting out there that could give you more joy, more stimulation, and more pleasure than experiencing what you are doing right now.
That’s self-realization.
And when you realize the SELF, the desire for new ends with it.
I can relate. I know that what I need is not another art tutorial, I just need to paint more, in a more mindful way.
Indeed this is true. Why go on a long tedious search of something you wouldn't find? I mean an "enhanced" self. Always reading and scouting. Be content with yourself.